‘Free Blithering Society’ to meet

A new organization recently formed here in the village, dedicated to freeing the word “blithering” from its doltish partner.

According to a Free Blithering Society press release, the members are “saddened by blithering’s long forced servitude to, you know, that other word.”

Not only is it bondage most cruel, organizers say, but it’s also illogical. “It is possible, after all, to blither and not be an idiot,” says the release. “Isaac Newton, for instance, was one of the smartest people ever and yet spent half his career trying to turn lead into gold. One never hears ‘blithering genius,’ though, does one? We thought not.”

It’s also aggressively noted that people of many stripes constantly say and do supremely stupid things but are never said to blither. “How often have Madonna and Plaxico Burress and George Bush issued idiotic remarks?” asserted the release. “And yet we never hear ‘blithering diva,’ or ‘blithering football star” or ‘blithering president.’ Well, maybe the latter.”

In a telephone interview, FBS founder Edgar Smoot was asked if a case could also be made for “blithering writer.” Smoot replied, “That would be redundant.”